*_____dysfcuktional.

Thursday, April 29, 2004
im back![actually glenna typed this but natty's next to me]
she's lazy to update,so yeh.
so sorry i caant coax her to update seriously.
but i tell ya'll she's living it happily.
she's great and she rocks. i love natty!

-glen

natasha @ 12:51:00 PM

xxx
Friday, December 26, 2003
Love. it's a word that we're all familiar with.
it's a word that has been used repeatedly and excessively.
it's a word filled with deep meaning, and also a word with many meanings.
and because it's so vague yet complex, no two people will have the exact same feeling or opinion in this topic.
you can love an object, you can love an animal,
and you can also love someone.
but how often do people actually mean it when they use it?

To me, love isn't a word to throw around.
it is something, a feeling, that you can never escape from.
it isn't something to fool around with as you often find yourself stepping over that thin line and thus falling deep and hard into it's ever so ready trap.
it grows with time, but if allowed, it can also be lost with time.

To me, it's a life long addiction. something that your heart and soul craves with enormous intensity.
once you find it and experience it, you can't and never let it go.
it will always be a consant thought, a constant presence, a constant shadow, lingering with glee in your twisted soap opera life like.
at times, it tortues you till you've reached the very edge, at time giving you false hopes and dreams, and at times, giving you just pure giddy happiness.

When you do reach the edge, it persuades you with tempting sweetness to come back into it's trap, once again enveloping you with a sense of security and comfort which somehow or other, never seems to last.
and if you do manage to claw your way out of this tangled web, it again sucks you back in, against your will, plunging you deeper into it's core, drowning you.

No offence to anyone but personally, i hate it when people run around saying i love you to every boyfriend that they have, every guy they meet, or just simply everyone they encounter.
be realistic.
love isn't something that you can feel and experience with every person, let alone every guy.
i mean, yeah, you can love them as a friend, but loving a friend and being IN love are two completely different things.
they're like totally seperate worlds.

When you love someone, you'd give up everything and anything for them.
you'd give up your favourite things, along with things that you collected for forever.
you'd throw out your favourite blouse, and even stop doing whatever means the most to you.
hell.. you'd even give up your life!
your friends and family become almost non-existent, and your world, built with a mix of reality and illusions will consist of only you and your object of desire.

Love isn't something you can escape from.
when you have it, it's the greatest thing in the world.
you feel like everything is perfect.
sunshine, laughter, smiles, the works.. they all fill your bursting heart.
you're smiling 24/7 and all you feel is comfort, security, and most definitely, love.

But when you lose it, nothing else matters.
your built up little paradise crumbles to pieces.
reality slaps you across the face, draining all yourt emotions away and engraving it's signature scar - pain.
this scar lingers in every inch of you, straying through your body and mind with a smirk on it's invisible face.
it's hand, which you will never see, pierces and stabs you every single moment with a sharp non-existent knife.
you become dead to the world, and eventually, you become dead.
mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
the only sign of you being alive is the constant river of tears on your face.

got tht frm zenn's web. its kinda meaningful. so decided to put it on my blog.well, just went jogging. its good. kinda tired though. but have to go play soccer with my neighbour. am im damstink. well, who cares. its sucha boring day. i lead a pathetic life. its exactly one week to eternal slaughter. hhaha. well, at least i can see my friends. but my class really sucks though. except for some people. (: well. its time to go for soccer-ing. haha.
toodles(:

natasha @ 5:13:00 PM

xxx

back blogging.
its the x'mas season.
heehee..well got my presents yesterday. cool shit.
anyhow, talked to you last night till i fll asleep. haha.
but thanks for cherring me up yeh ?
love you to bits.
my bro is beside me now. the younger one and he is doing his work.wht a surprise aye ? hahah
he is going on talking about me using computer all day.
my mum protected the computer with a password which means we cant use the internet.
but she forgot toput a password on the laptop. hahah. so im like secretly using it. wht a bad chil. hhaha. (:
new pictures. haven't updated tho. haha.
blog later !

natasha @ 2:42:00 PM

xxx
Saturday, December 13, 2003
tuesday. 021203. 2:58p.m
okay. i cannot use the computer anymore. its sucks not being able to use the comp. im a deprieved child man. urgh!
anyway, talking to zephyr, anna and johnathan now. they're so lame. talking about gunbound. which i cant play cos i got no internet.
but its good. so i won't get addicted. ho hum ! anyhow, i have to leave for my dam tuition.. laters !

obsessions in my head don't
connect with my intellect its
called obsession can you handle
it? its connected to the hip
sounds and it moves with the
underground its called obsessions
when you're around obsessions is
like sex its simple and complex its
called obsession can you handle
it? its connected to the hip
sounds and it moves with the
underground its called obsessions
when you're around .

wednesday. 031203. 9:13a.m

its a wednesday.

i hate wednesdays

i detest wednesdays

i dread wednesdays

i despise wednesdays

i abhor wednesdays

i abominate wednesdays

IM ALLERGIC TO WEDNESDAYS!!!!

yay!! going to k.l tmr. gonna shop shop shop. woohoo~
anyhow, i was talking to zenn. i think she's gone like real crazy. i called her than she said something about ' she wants to die now kinda thing' dam funnaye la tht girl.
but i still love her. (: smuackk. just bought my books. pwhoar, the principle of accounts book is fcuking thick. which means my bag is gonna be dam heavy. oh yeh, i needa buy a new bag ! which means im buying it in k.l either from flash and splash or mambo. shiokers. talking to nicole now. god, we haven't talked on the phone in like 37823563 years. so it's time for catching up ! right nic ? okay. today's gonna be like hell dam boring. cos im gonna be home alone all day. shitty ! i wanna go val's house to swim and tan. but she is still like sleeping. bloody pig. aiyah. anyhow, blog later.

zenn: thanks for being there for me always. although you go mad.
just typing this outta boredom. love you sugar ! (:

okay. im back. had mc wings for lunch. its yummy. grandmama bought for me. so sweet (:

zenn's rebonding her hair now. tht girl don't knw wanna rebond how many times.
val is at the hairdresser trimming her hair.
jill is swimming alone ?
claire is sleeping.
ally is at the travel agency.

everyone's out or either doing something enjoyable. but im slacking at home. wtf ?
maybe i should go study my sec 3 work. haha. good girl (:
listening to 'thats when i love you.' by aslyn. brings back so many memories. so nice. x)
kept playing 'perfect by simple plan' when my mum was 'inspecting me' while i was cleaning my room. and i said to her. 'mum, you should listen to this song. than she said to me, 'wht you trying to tell me huh?' i said 'im sorry i can't be perfect' than she got stunned and didn't knw wht to say. hahah.
today's celebration of gifts for christ the king. it's at hougang youth centre opp nativity church i think. should i go ?
aprielle, jane and dhini are acting together with their guy ' partners'. hahaha. hokays.. think they're doing the song pretty women. coolshit huh ? hiaks.
okay. you just called me like after so long ? cos your phone got confiscated. mine too. uh-huh. (: well. missed those late night talks we had.
anyway, my grandmama's friends are here. talking one truckload of shit. think they're gonna play mahjong now. :D.
since im so bored, i shall go play basketball/rugby with my neighbour. pwhoar, he's real good at it i swear.
bye all.
love ! (:

currently listening to :
pulp - do you remember the first time.
jamelia - superstar.
guns and roses - sweet child of mine.

monday. 081203. 4:30p.m
just got back from malaysia yesterday. tht's why i didnt blog for few days.
malaysia was gravy baby ! did lotsa shopping. bought gum but finished it in the car.
so didnt bring any back. sorry to those who wanted gum. get it for you'll another time.
bought many t-shirts and one pair of nike shorts. wanted to buy my air-dunks there but they didnt have any nice colours.
wanted to buy air-force too. but there wasnt any air-force. they only had fake ones.. hahaha. wht a joke. anyway, my bro like bought so many things can. white superstar, two mambo, one quiksilver wallet and t-shirt, two nike dri-fit shirt and some nike sock and lots more la.
but the worst thing about tht country is its dam stink. gosh. ):
my birthday is in six days time ! (:
got my angpao from my grandmother today. she gave me $500. she always does. love her (:
aiyah. waiting for my mum to come home so i'll have good lunch. :D. im a pig aye ?
hahaha. you called me yesterday asking me how was the trip. i said it was fun. anyway,told you i'll call you back tmr. but you have to message me first so your momma wont knw. hahha. so cute. anyway, im glad we've started talking again. (:
blog later !

just heard everything tht happened btw jane and des. so sad for them. once besties but now enemies cos of dhini. dhini - stop breaking ppl up can ? first you break jane and des up now you wanna break jason and jane. wth is wrong with you ? are you just jealous cos you dont have a boyfriend and she has ? and stop going around telling people tht jane is a flirt cos she is not ! and stop going around telling ppl tht you have a boyfriend and his name is leonard ; kerthi and others. everyone you tell is a different name. wth ? STOP SUCKING UP LAH ! this is all i got to say to you. better think about it !!
school's starting soon. sucks. but yeh, get to see my friends and new classmates. right glenna babeh ?

wishlist for birthday and christmas :
1. nike air-dunks.
2. nice mambo bag.
3. playboy tattoo.
4. tongue piercing.
5. world peace.
6. you (:

currently listening to :
madonna - like a virgin.
frankie J - suga suga.

tuesday. 091203. 7:41 p.m
just got back from tuition. went shopping with my momma. bought three tops, two pants, pair of jeans and a skirt. dam nice. all from esprit. woohoo.
it's for christmas tho. but gonna get shoes for my birthday i guess ? might buy the dunks for b'day. or a mambo bag.
anyway, i got nothin to blog aout so wait for tmr's entry.
laters ~

wednesday. 101203. 10:48a.m
watching home alone 3 with my younger bro. he sucks. he's dam horny can. urgh !
well, its a kinda lame show. hahha. but yeh, we're bored ! ahahhas. i wanna go val's house in the afternoon.
but she's sleeping. *snorts. (: got a new wallet. momma bought for me. she was like so sweet to me yesterday man. but yeh. its just not her. (:
i wanna go back to sleep. so i shall blog later. and maybe a longer entry. hahaha. (:
my birthday is in four days time. (:

thursday. 111203. 09:54a.m
i said i would blog latr for yesterday's entry but i forgot so yeh.
anyway, just bathed the dog. stinks like shit. ain't mine anyway. haha. took it for a walk. lastnight had missed call from this person and its some foreign no. i was wondering who the hell it was and decided if i should call back. funnaye. and three missed calls from private no. i hate private no ! even tho mine is. heehee. '
next year's gonna be a difficult year for me. so many subjects. but yeh, at least im not taking history.. i dread it. i abhor it. fuck history. i got 22/100 for mid terms. hell ! but i cant remember facts about history. so i dont give a shit about it.. hahaha. who does anyway, almost my whole class hate it tho. except the nerds. heehee. im so bad. my humanities sucks. i hate history so i might hate s.s next year..and than i might fail it.. anyway, have to get to my books soon. not soon but SOON. hahha. i suck. all i think of doing this hols is play and study. can't go out except on my birthday. going with zenn, zephyr and jill. than the next day val and claire. the two bestfriends in the whole wide world.
sunday is tanning with zenn, zephyr and jill i think ? but have to buy zenn a bikini first. hehaa, she's an ass la. her bikini is still with cheryl. and cheryl will only be back midnight on sunday. she went to bali. so good aye ? im going to j.b today to shop. gonna try to find nice dunks there. and buying levi's i guess ? and other stuff too.
my birthdsay is in three days time. (:

friday. 121203. 1:18p.m
yeh. my mum's gonna bring me to get my dunks later afte my tuition at queensway and my younger bro's gonna get his crumpler bag i think. he's dam cool. urgh ! mum's gettng it for him too. she's like so nice now, hahah. had chicken baked rice for lunch. so nice. mum made it. she came home just to make it. so sweet. (: gerard's not home now. i think he went out but told my mum tht he had some scouts meeting.. he's sucha liar ! sean's making so god dam much noise. i bet the neighbours can hear. ): okay. i didnt do much today. just listened to radio. someone just called me twice and i dont knw who the hell it is. urgh ! private no. well, i guess i shall blog later.
laters !
my birthday is in two days time. (:

natasha @ 7:42:00 PM

xxx
Sunday, November 30, 2003
afternoon !
hokays.. wht i did today was basically :
shopping.
bought a new digital cam. (:
bought slippers.
went to sentosa.
changed my blogskin.
hahh. okay.
my life is totally boring. :(
i dont go out. i mean i CAN'T go out.
urgh! heck about tht.
it's christian's confirmation today.
supposed to go with john but i dont think i can. ):
i think i have to go for my greatgrandmother's birthday dinner.
suck shit la. i hate my greatgrand mother.
cos she eats her shit and plays with it. [im not kidding. she's suffering from dementia]
hahaha. im really dam fcuking bored at home. my pepper baby's bored too so i should talk to her.
hokays. im getting like dam sooper doooper ultra lame. (:
hiyah. i wanna go out now.
to buy my coduroy skirt. from zara.
gosh. my mom is out with my younger bro at his tennis lesson. like he even god dam knw's how to play.
my dad is golfing.
my bro is at camp in malaysia.
once he comes back, we're going to k.l to shop shop SHOP !
yay!
anyhow, i shall stop crapping here and do some useful things.
MUAHHS. ((:

natasha @ 5:20:00 PM

xxx